Blue Beetle (2023)

Plot

Jaime, the first in a hispanic family to graduate from college, can't get a job, accidentally absorbs the blue beetle superarmor, and, with the help of his family overpowers the superpowered minion of the corporate villain.

The Good

Watchability

This is a somewhat watchable movie. I actually stopped a few times to check my emails and do other things. Even the fight scenes were not exciting.
The movie is technically well done. For the most part the CGI is adequate (+1/2)

There is some intentional humor. (+1)

Story Line

The story line is ridiculous. Alien tech that makes a symbiotic relationship with a human. And, it chooses who to sybiote with? The villain is a corporate head who is not above horribly immoral things just for power. Truly one-dimensional.

Acting

The acting is okay. None of the actors is actually bad.

Technical

The graphics and cinematography are actually pretty good. I was impressed with the 'dream' sequence and how it was portrayed. (+1)

The Bad

There is some comic-book violence on screen. The lead, Jaime is okay with violence as long as he doesn't kill. But, his entire family gets to kill lots of bad guys on screen.(-1/2)

I'm not hispanic, but I found the stereotypes in the hispanic family to be very cringe. Correct me if I'm wrong. (-1)

The Ugly

There is a small amount of male non-frontal nudity, but, it is used for humourous effect.

There are a few sexual references that did not promote the story line. (-1/2)

Recommendation

+1/2: If you've got nothing better to do.

The Flash (2023)

Plot

Superspeedster, the Flash, goes back in time to save his mom. Changes history. Changes it back. Learns his lesson.

The Good

Watchability

This is a very watchable movie (+1). It is for the most part, exciting. (+1)
The movie is well done, but it has obvious problems with continuity. For instance, the terrorist at the beginning has an open case, but, when Wonder Woman pulls him and the Batman up, the case is magically closed. This just ruined the next five to ten minutes of the film for me, as I had to get back into believing the underlying premise.
There is some intentional humor. (+1)
There are also some lines that are just priceless

Older Barry to younger Barry: "Okay. You don't stop talking. It's not charming. It's abrasive and exhausting. And... OMG! I'm starting to realize what people mean.”

(+1/2)

Story Line

The story line is marginally believable. Once you have accepted the premise of an super powers and the ability to travel back in time, much of what comes later is believable. (+1)
The story is actually about how The Flash has to mature as a person. One might prefer a more nuanced progression, but, there was only a limited amount of time. (+1)

Acting

The acting is okay. Ezra Miller is really good at acting socially inept. There are points where he appears pensive. We do see him mature by the end of the movie. The additional Batmans, Supergirl, Wonder Woman, and the bad guy don't have to act at all. They are hardly in the movie. This is a movie about the maturing of the protagonist. (+1/2)

The graphics and cinematography are actually pretty good. Especially at the beginning. The visualization of the Time Force and the (for lack of a better word) Time Bowl were creative. The superhero fights toward the end of the movie looked a little too CGId, almost as if the production were rushed by then. (+1)

The Bad

There is some comic-book violence on screen. But, almost all of it is against the bad guys. Although, a couple of good guys die multiple times. The gore is kept to a minimum (-1/2)

The Ugly

There is a small amount of male non-frontal nudity, but, it is used for humourous effect. There are a few sexual references that did not promote the story line. (-1/2)

Recommendation

+5: Time well spent.

The Spy Who Loved Me

Plot

James Bond infiltrates the headquarters of the bad guy and wins.

The Good

Watchability

This is a watchable movie. (+1) Many parts of it are exciting enough to not want to stop the movie in midstream. (+1) The movie, the actors, and the special effects were all done very competently (albeit a bit dated now). (+1)

Story Line

The story line makes sense once you accept the premise of a near-super secret agent. There is a mad scientist who wants the US and the USSR to go to war with each other in order to destroy human society, so, he kidnaps both countries’ nuclear submarines and points the nukes at each others’ major cities. (+1)

Acting

The actors in this are good. Roger Moore does a passable job as 007. He is less mean, and more humorous. Barbara Bach is pretty, but seems out of place as a secret agent. Curd Jurgens just walks through the set, and he can phone in his lines, and he appears to act more than anyone else. (+1) In addition, again much of the scenery is just splendid. The Bond director got a lot of the humor just right. It offsets the violence and tension. (+1)

The Bad

All of the sex in this movie is gratuitous. I know that we’ve come to expect Bond to have sex with every girl that breathes, but, there is no reason to show anything but the after affects. (-1)

The Ugly

There is a fair amount of violence in this movie. Anything truly gory happens offscreen, but there are many fights and chase scenes, some of which don’t move the story along. (-1)

Recommendation

4: Time Well Spent.

You Only Live Twice

Plot

James Bond infiltrates the headquarters of the bad guy and wins.

The Good

Watchability

This is a watchable movie. (+1) Many parts of it are exciting enough to not want to stop the movie in midstream. (+1) The movie, the actors, and the special effects were all done very competently (albeit a bit dated now). (+1)

Story Line

The story line makes sense once you accept the premise of a near-super secret agent. There is a mad scientist who wants the US and the USSR to go to war with each other, so, he kidnaps both countries’ space craft. (+1)

Acting

The actors in this are just terrific. Sean Connery and Donald Pleasence head the cast, and other than the girls who all they need do is look sexy, each of the others makes an effort. (+1) In addition, again much of the scenery is just splendid.

The Bad

All of the sex in this movie is gratuitous. I know that we’ve come to expect Bond to have sex with every girl that breathes, but, there is no reason to show anything but the after affects. (-1)

The Ugly

There is a fair amount of violence in this movie. Anything truly gory happens offscreen, but there are many fights and chase scenes, some of which don’t move the story along. (-1)

Recommendation

3: If you've nothing better to do.

Live Feed

Plot

Young adults have sex, get killed.

The Good

Watchability

This is a barely watchable movie (+0). It was actually difficult to sit through the whole thing. If you are into gratuitous gore and sex, it is watchable, otherwise, rent something else. The director used no CGI for the gore effects, but did everything old-school, and it looks like it. Ridiculous fountains of blood and obviously choreographed fights.

Story Line

The story line makes no sense at all. College kids are in an oriental area. Four have serious personality flaws, and one does not. After seeing some gory butchering of a dog (for food), they go into a porno theater. A random asian fellow befriends them. It turns out he is the brother of a policeman killed by the owner of the porno theater. Everyone gets killed off except for the good girl, her bad boyfriend, and the brother of the cop. Way too many coincidences for any kind of story line.

Acting

The actors in this look too much like high-school actors. Over-emoting lines, but showing no true emotion. Oh well, it’s a bloodfest, not theater.

The Bad

All of the sex in this movie is gratuitous. There is no reason for a stripper, no reason for it being in a porno theater, no reason for sex between partners, and no reason for sex between non-partners. (-1)

The Ugly

There is a tremendous amount of violence. The violence occurs onscreen, but does not move the plot along at all, except for the beating of the cop. All the rest is pointless and only there to show off the expertise of the special effects person. (-1)

Recommendation

-2: Don’t Waste Your Time.

Slayer (2006)

Plot

South American vampire tribe is destroyed by American GI

The Good

Watchability

This is a relatively watchable movie (+1). After watching UKM: Ultimate Killing Machine, this one looks good, in comparison. There are no obvious technical gaffes, although the vampiric teeth look odd. (+1)

Story Line

The story line makes no sense. Let's see. An American GI fights vampires. Comes back to the states and is rehabilitated for seeing... Vampires. His commanding officer is the aunt of his ex-wife. Who happens to be doing some research on the biodiversity of the South American area where the vampires are. Huh! Don't pile on too many coincidences. Who cares about the head vampire? Or, his daughter? Or, any one in this film? The only originality in this is that most of the myths about vampires (allergic to crosses and garlic, can't come out in the day, etc.) are wrong. But, they can't be killed except by beheading or a wood wound in the heart. Yeah, right. It's obvious they just didn't want to film a dark movie, since this is a made for TV film.

Acting

It would have been nice for the viewer, if they had hired some actors. Oh, they've got Lynda Carter (TV's Wonder Woman), and a big, black dude (Kevin Grevioux) with a tremendously deep voice, who snarls appropriately in order to show off his vampire teeth prostetics. But, otherwise, you would never know they had actually paid people to read these lines. I just noticed that Danny Trejo has a minor part.

The Bad

There are more than enough fight scenes, and some vampire-biting-neck blood, but no real violence.

The Ugly

No gratuitous sex scenes

Recommendation

+2: If you've got nothing better to do.

UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine

Plot

Mad scientist does illegal experiments for military on unsuspecting army recruits.

The Good

Watchability

This is a barely watchable movie (+0). The viewer has a choice. Watch this mess til the end, or give up. Trust me, give up. The military acts like no military anywhere. The military facility is unlike any anywhere. It is just bad.

Story Line

The story line might, almost make sense. Some major (!) in the military is running a rogue experimental site where they are doing human experiments. All of his support staff are privates. What!?!? They keep around a failed experiment. But, there is a failsafe to destroy the building. Oh, the experiment enhances the adrenalin levels of the test subjects – and it makes them horny. There is some intentional humor, and Michael Madsen deadpans some of the better throwaway lines. (+1/2)

Acting

Michael Madsen is the best-known actor in this movie. If he could act, then he might have been willing to try to breathe some life into this movie. But, he cannot. He was perfect for Kill Bill, Vol 2. But, that is the only character he, apparently, has the ability to portray.

The rest of the cast goes through the motions on this one. In particular, Erin Mackinnon, as Carrie, does a good job of changing from a shy runaway to a vicious predator. (+1/2)

The Bad

Is there some book that helps directors find bad plots. In this movie, the military comes off as incompetent, immoral, illegal, and otherwise stupid. (-1)

There is a fair amount of violence. The actual violence occurs offscreen, but there is plenty of blood splatterage and special effects dead bodies (including a headless body and its head and a faceless body and its face.) Most of the violence is just there to lend credence to the monster being a threat. But, the monster is not scary. So, the only way to make him a threat is to have him leave a gross mess in the hallway. (-1/2)

The Ugly

There is one scene where sex is used to promote the story line. Thankfully, most of the graphic part is edited out. The viewer knows sex occurred. But, the only reason to make the four experimental subjects strip to their underwear is to tease the viewer. (-1/2)

Recommendation

-1: Don’t Waste Your Time.